All parents want their children to succeed. But the fact is that children are naturally averse to difficulties and gravitate towards doing the things they enjoy. In response to this, Asian parents are commonly strict with their offspring. They know that discipline and hard work precede rewards. This is unfortunately frequently pushed past healthy boundaries. Here are a few characteristics of an overly demanding parent.
They Set Very High Expectations
The over-demanding parents desire that their children excel in all areas and reach their fullest potential and beyond. As such, they fanatically cram their children’s schedule with every possible enrichment activity, whether it is tuition, music classes or programs that promise to multiply memory power. People begin to wonder if they are trying to raise the next Prime Minister. The over-demanding parents also set high standards for academic performance, expecting high scores in examinations and not making allowances for anything short of them.
The Child is All Work and No Play
To attain the lofty expectations set by the over-demanding parents, the children must inevitably devote huge amounts of time to hard work. Weeknights and weekends are occupied with classes and any remaining time is used for catching up on homework and revision. There is hardly any time to be wasted on family meals and outings, or shared by both parents and child doing things together for pure enjoyment.
No one doubts the over-demanding parents’ commitment. The parents are the utterly devoted 24/7 role models who put every other parent to shame. Being part of the parent volunteer scheme, the parents are well acquainted with the ins and outs of the school. Perhaps they sweep the assessment book section clean whenever they visit the bookstore.
Rules, Rules and Rules
Discipline is the golden word of the household. There are regulations down to the details, rigid limitations on computer time and punishments meted out for every small mistake. While it is true that children thrive on routine and clear boundaries, the poor children start to resemble a soldier more than a student. The over-demanding parents override the children’s decisions even on issues of personal taste, such as in the realm of TV, music and literature. They even dictate their children’s friendships and disallows them from hanging out with their buddies after school. It is no wonder that the children don’t bother to offer their opinions anymore.
Being an overly authoritarian figure can put a lasting strain on the parent-child relationship. The children leave the parents out of their personal life as they have grown to view the over-demanding parents as an unrelenting master rather than an understanding mentor. The children hardly speak to their parents about personal matters, fearing criticism and intrusion.
Avoid Being An Overly Demanding Parent
Appropriate discipline and an emphasis on hard work would help your child to grow into well-rounded, useful individual who would thank you for not going easy on them. However, it is equally important to moderate your demands on your child and remain connected to them. As your child grows, they would only listen to your advice if there exists a parent-child relationship based on mutual respect. Rather than imposing unrealistic requirements on your child, seek to respect your child’s freedom and choices.
Contributed by Daniel Ong, Content Writer